Owning Your Shadow

Did you know…

that If you don’t own your shadow, your shadow will own you.

In the news this week: Ted Haggart—the exiled and now repentant minister from Colorado, and Rod Blagojevich—the feisty and now former governor of Illinois.

Two illuminating examples of what happens when we don’t own our dark sides…the parts of ourselves we repress, suppress, deny, disown and pretend don’t exist.

If you can’t relate to these men, don’t be fooled. You may not deem your shadow parts to be as deep, dark and ugly as theirs, but we all have shadow parts. They show up in a variety of ways, shapes and sizes. They’re part of the human condition.

The problem is: the longer and deeper we push these parts below the surface, the greater the damage when they finally erupt!

What are we to do? Shine the light on them. How? By owning them. By telling ourselves the truth about ourselves. By finding appropriate ways to give these parts expression.

It’s so tempting to judge and condemn Haggard and Blagojevich. But if I did, I would be missing an opportunity for self reflection.

I think these two men who have dedicated their lives to serving are only now beginning their real and greater acts of service…to be very public reminders that if we do not own our shadow, our shadow will own us! And we will self-destruct. I bless them for the reminder.

How about you?

Don’t Get it Perfect, Just Get it Going

Did you know…

that You don’t have to get it perfect, you just have to get it going!

I used to think I had to work out all the kinks before I shared something with the world. Result: My need to get it right put a choke-hold on lots of great ideas.

No more. I have grown more daring and less anal! When an idea comes, I take action. And improve upon it as I go. No more self-imposed prison of perfection.

Case in point: Did You Know…

I received Guidance in the wee hours of New Year’s Day to begin writing Did You Know…

I didn’t argue. I turned on my computer. I wrote. And I pushed the “send” key.

A lawyer friend wrote back. He encouraged me to keep writing… AND to use a permission-based subscription service to insure legal compliance with Internet anti-spam regulations!

Who knew? I didn’t. But now I do and I’m in the process of getting that service set up.

This means that if you want to continue to receive Did You Know… you will have to subscribe. It’s easy and it’s free, but you will have to take action when requested.

Sometime today or tomorrow you will receive an email with the subject: Confirm your subscription to didyouknow2009.

Just follow the instructions and you’ll continue to receive my musings. Of course, you can always unsubscribe any time you want as well.

Do you have an idea that’s locked up in your own prison of perfection? Set it free. Get going on it today. You can work out the kinks along the way!

Staying Calm in Crisis

Did you know…

that It’s possible to stay calm even in the midst of crisis.

This week a US Airways jet was ditched in the Hudson River in New York City after bird strikes knocked out both engines.

The plane landed and stayed afloat long enough for everyone to get out. Help came from every direction. Everyone survived. This was a first.

Capt. “Sully” is being hailed a hero and the incident a miracle.

As I watched the news I couldn’t help being struck by how symbolically loaded the incident was—the disabled plane (the American Dream), the river (water = emotions), the location (NYC – a global financial center) for starters. What can I say…I’m prone to looking for deeper meaning in these kinds of incidents. I can’t help myself.

My take on it: Capt. Sully showed us that it’s possible to keep ourselves above water—above the emotional turmoil of life—and stay clear and present and resourceful in the direst circumstances. (Does the current economic meltdown come to mind?)

I know he had years of experience under his belt. But I suspect it was his ability to remain cool under pressure and calm in the midst of crisis that saved the day…and everyone on board.

This pilot did far more than save a plane full of people this week. He showed the world what is possible. And to me that’s what makes him a hero and what he did a miracle!

Wanting to Want to

Did you know…

that it’s easy to confuse wanting to want to for wanting to.

Wanting to is commitment…being ready and willing to do whatever it takes.

Wanting to want to is pre-commitment…still wishing and hoping, but not yet ready to take action. Dr. David Gruder of Willingness Works calls this a “gleam”— seeing the light but not yet willing to feel the heat!

A gleam and a commitment are two separate and distinct stages in the change cycle. They feel energetically different.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to want to. It’s the stage right before real commitment. The problem arises when you confuse the two—thinking you want to when the real truth is you just want to want to! In your confusion you beat yourself up for not making the progress you thought you should.

Knowing this profound little distinction has saved me from a lot of self-abuse!

Scan your life. Are there any areas where you said you were going to do something, but you haven’t? If so, go easy on yourself. You’re just not ready…YET!

Figure out what’s getting in your way of being ready, or go do something else.

Underachieving vs Overexerting

Did you know…

that Underachieving is more productive than overexerting.

Robert Kiyosaki of Rich Dad, Poor Dad fame turned me on to this idea. The basic premise is: if you want to make a change, don’t try to do too much. Do less!

Although it’s counterintuitive and downright contrary to our cultural conditioning of Do More and Try Harder, it works…really, really well!

Instead of taking giant leaps, take baby steps.

I’m not a fan of resolutions, but if you’re being guided to make a change for your own good or well-being try this:

• Instead of resolving to exercise for an hour every day…take a 10 minute walk.
• Instead of resolving to change your entire diet…cut down on one unhealthy thing.
• Instead of resolving to quit smoking…smoke one less cigarette each day.
• Instead of resolving to meditate everyday for an hour …sit still for a minute.
• Instead of resolving to clear the clutter out of your whole house…clean out a drawer.

You get the idea. Make whatever you do ridiculously easy and doable. You’ll do it and feel great. You’ll find yourself naturally motivated to do more. Try it. You’ll see.

Robert also said, “Baby steps eventually allow us to climb massive mountains!”

Here’s to taking baby steps in 2009.

Bad times never last

Did you know…

that Bad times never last. Good times are always a decision.

Jon Benson wrote this and I think he’s on to something.

Today is a new year—the first day of 2009. More people than usual told me they couldn’t wait for 2008 to be over… as if everything could go from bad to good at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve.

I love the opportunity this occasion gives us to reflect and start fresh for the future—to choose anew. But it only happens once a year.

The reality is we have an opportunity for a new beginning every day. Actually, every moment.

So as you ring in the New Year remember: you can turn the page and begin again any time you want.

Wishing you a 2009 filled with gobs of good things.