Going Out of My Mind

Did you know...

that Sometimes you have to lose your mind to find your way.

I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been busy. Busy going out of my mind!

Not in a going crazy kind of way—in a very deliberate way.

The fear I wrote about in my previous post gave me an up close and personal experience of how my mind can hold me captive. Its secret weapons: stories and expectations!

It can concoct a story in a heartbeat. It can have an expectation without my even knowing it until it’s been violated! And it’s really good at making the stories believable and the expectations valid. How? By making them appear reasonable… logical… even factual. That is, in the world according to me!

When I’m in my stories and expectations, I’m not resourceful…I’m busy being right.

When I’m in my stories and expectations, I feel fear or anger or resentment or disappointment or whatever emotions they provoke…and I feel righteous. I deserve to feel this way…dammit!

When I’m in my stories and expectations, I’m not present to my experience in the moment…I’m somewhere else.

My magnificent mind is a double-edged sword. It has many purposes. Holding me captive is not one of them.

I’ve been busy freeing myself. I’ve been going out of my mind and into a space of greater awareness where the stories and expectations are revealed for what they are—nonsense!

What a relief!

P.S. Funny that we equate losing our minds or going out of our minds with going crazy. Seems to me, the mind IS the crazy-maker!